Taoism: Shit happens
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Confucianism: Confucius say „Shit happens.“
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Islam: If shit happens, it’s the will of Allah
Jehova’s Witness: Knock, Knock. „Shit happens.“
Rastafarian: Smoke this shit!
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
Stoicism: Not giving a Fuck, whenever shit happens!
Atheism: There is no shit.
Atheism (2): Can you believe this shit?
Agnosticism: I don’t know whether shit happens.
Protestantism: Shit won’t happen if I work harder.
Catholicism: If shit happens, I deserve it.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Totalitarism: To avoid future shit, we give you shit now.
Environmentalism: You produce shit, so you have to eat it.
Psychology: My brain hurts. Can shit think?
Hedonism: There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Socialism: Sorry, we are out of shit today.
Communism: Shit for everybody!
Feminism: That’s not funny!